Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water… This collection of scary fish will put your fear of Jaws on the back burner. Turns out there are a lot more sharp-toothed creatures in the sea — like the fangtooth fish, pictured above.
But fish need more than mouth armor to defend themselves from overfishing, pollution, and disassociation from landlubbers who don’t concern themselves with the quality of life in our lakes and oceans.
This fangtooth fish may be smiling. It’s hard to tell. These things live about three miles below the surface. Their fangs are so long that they slide into special pockets in the roof of the mouth when the jaw is closed, according to Sea and Sky. It’s also called the ogrefish, for some reason.
Fangtooth fish
Humpback Angelfish
There’s something about big teeth that makes fish scary, especially the humpback anglerfish, with an added bonus of a dark, slimy body. This one is a female, about the size of a tennis ball. The male is smaller, about the size of a jelly bean, and mates with the female by latching onto her with his hookedteeth, drinking her blood and supplying sperm, according to The Encyclopedia of New Zealand. How romantic.
Deep sea lizardfish
The deep-sea lizardfish even has teeth on its tongue. Apparently, divers often come across these in coral reefs. You might want to scratch coral reef exploration off your to-do list.
Blobfish
Another fish with a face, and quite a honker, is the the blobfish. It looks like he really needs some exercise. The blobfish’s body is like jelly, to withstand the deep sea. Out of the water, they look different, but just as ugly. This fish is in danger of being wiped out, says Greenpeace, due to bottom trawling.
Lumpfish
These fish are real products of evolution, with mugs only a mother could love. But we should love them, because all nature is precious, folks. Especially the ugly creatures, like this lumpfish, also known as a lumpsucker, a popular alternative to expensive caviar.
Piranha
The piranha is making a comeback this year, in a film called … “Piranha 3-D.” The red piranha, shown here with a few friends, feeds in groups of 20 to 30, and may attack prey in a feeding frenzy stimulated by blood in the water, reports the Georgia Aquarium.
Rainbow Trout with two mouths
This fish tale comes from Nebraska. That’s a rainbow trout with two mouths. Clarence Olberding, the lucky angler, told the Journal Star he planned to take the fish home, smoke it and eat it. Two mouths? This swimmer would probably make a great politician.
Mexican Walking Fish
A fish with hands and legs? Did a frog mate with a goldfish? Nope. This is the Mexican Walking Fish, which is actually a salamander. Also called an Axolotl, it remains in its larval form throughout its life and never grows into an adult (kind of like some of those high school friends on Facebook). The axolotl also is threatened with extinction, due tohabitat destruction and water pollution.
Goliath Tigerfish
Roar. The goliath tigerfish is prized as a game fish in Central Africa. The fish is ranked as one of the top 10 hardest-fighting freshwater fish onthe planet, says FishQuest.com, which offers fishing excursions for about $6,000, plus airfare. “It can weigh over 100 pounds and its jaws are armed with 32 razor-sharp teeth that can shear through the strongest steel leaders and even straighten hooks,” the site says.
Dubbed “Sid Fishious”
This sucker, dubbed “Sid Fishious” by the British press, is allegedly a giant snakeshead that will eat people if it gets the chance. One thing to help you sleep: The snakehead can crawl on land, from one water body to another.
